My Life With The Thrill Grill Kult

And so ends the week of marination.  We've had tofu, yellow fin tuna, my liver and now, beef tenderloin.  It has been a week of patience when none was present.  Of ingredients which wore on the pocket book.  Of unusual skunky beer.  And some fancy Charlie hacked into the Nothugs Super computer.

I woke up and found all my desktop icons moved around and an open word file that read:  Think Your Funny  Isn't that some vague and slightly nefarious business to sip your coffee to?  No period or question mark.  It's something I would write.  So fancy man, if you're watching--Touche.

This is the old piece of meat on top of a salad deal.  Kind of tedious. It requires 3 distinct steps.


What You Need:
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 banana pepper, chopped
2 Tbsp. soy sauce
1 Tbsp. lime juice
3 Tbsp. honey
1/4 C peanut oil
1 lb. tenderloin
Salt and pepper

Dressing:
1 shallot, chopped
2 banana peppers, chopped
1 Tbsp. mint
1/2 C Rice Wine Vinegar
2 tsp. sugar

Papaya Salad:
8 large Romaine lettuce leaves, cut into strips
1 large papaya, peeled and sliced
2 carrots, peeled and shredded
1/4 C peanuts for garnish
Chopped cilantro


Grilled Steak and Papaya Salad


      Tenderloin . . .
Process first six ingredients until smooth.
*This is your marinade.
Place meat in small baking dish, add marinade.
Cover and refrigerate one hour.
Then, grill over meduim-high heat, 12 minutes.
Let stand another ten minutes.

       Dressing . . . .
Whisk together all dressing ingredients in a bowl.

  
 Salad . . . . .
Combine carrots and papaya in a bowl.
Place lettuce on plates, then distribute bowl of                                                                                 deliciousness over lettuce.

Finally . . . 
Drizzle-rizzle dressing over salad.  Place meat on top and garnish with peanuts and cilantro.

*  Good lord, this one was time intensive, interesting.  I'd never really cut up a papaya.  The seeds looked like capers.  Have a good weekend--out.


Total time: 30 minutes plus marination
Drink:  Tea, iced
Music:  The Dils

Tome? No man, Tofu!

First, I would like to say, "Hallo," to my reader from the Netherlands.  "Was het de Tiger Penis?"

Back to attack ya'll.  This one requires even more tofu.  And yes, there were sighs and shuttered eyes of disgust. But I can say it is some good business. It also requires overnight marination.  Why would I put myself through this madness?  Because it looked so nice in the picture.  I have never been one for presentation, but It doesn't hurt to make an effort.

Also, this recipe uses Bok Choy--one of the more expensive vegetables I could get a hold of.  And I wish I could take a picture of the smell from the carrot-ginger sauce--you'll find out.

What You Need:

20-24 oz. firm Tofu
1/2 C Orange Juice
1 Tbsp. brown Sugar
1 Tbsp. Soy sauce
2 Tbsp. cilantro, chopped
2 cloves Garlic, crush
1 tsp. grated ginger
2-3 Tbsp. Olive Oil
2 lb. baby bok choy

Carrot and Ginger Sauce:
10 oz. carrot
2 tsp. grated ginger
2/3 C orange juice
1/2 C vegetable stock


Tofu with Carrot and Ginger Sauce

Drain Tofu, then slice block into 1 by 3 rectangles.

Place in glass dish.

Mix juice, soy sauce, cilantro, garlic and ginger in a container and pour over Tofu.  Cover and refrigerate overnite.

The next day . . .

Remove Tofu.

*Keep marinade.

Heat oil in large frying pan and fry 2-4 minutes, every side.

Meanwhile . . .

Heat a wok.  Add bok choy and 1 Tbsp. water.  Cook, covered 2-4 minutes.


And . . .

Place all ingredients for sauce in pan and bring to a boil.  Then reduce and simmer, covered for 5-7 minutes until carrots are tender.  Transfer to a food processor and blend into a lovely sauce.

*  You can see the lovely presentation.  This meal works when all three elements (sauce, choy and tofu) are eaten in the same bite.  Bok choy is a little tough, so use a fork to cut it.  ---Out.

Total Time:  30 minutes plus marination
Music:  Yo la Tengo
Drink:  Pinot

And The Living's Easy

The audience for this one is myself 10 years ago.  So allow me to share this bit with him.

First: I'm glad you finally got your hair figured out.  It looks good.  Lets work on the way you dress next.  Go ahead and spend that extra time and dollar searching for something nice--it's worth it.  Hey, that's a nice jazz collection you have going. You should really learn how to cook and make drinks--it's kind of classy.  Oh yeah, go ahead and start eating meat again, the vegetarian thing will be over next Thanksgiving.

 *Although I have nothing against it, and even find the occasional martini lunch slightly more romantic than depressing, I am not a proponent of mid-week drinking.  The truth is this recipe was supposed to be my Thursday widow-- something nice for the weekend.  But last night we steamed some carrots and broccoli, slapped some Gates on a Chicken and grilled it.  Delicious, but hardly anything to write about.

What you Need:

3 C Strawberries
Dry White Wine
Cointreau, 1/4 - 1/2 C
Mineral Water

 Strawberry White-wine Spritzer

 Blend Strawberries and Cointreau until smooth.

*I used frozen strawberries which took a bit of finesse and was loud.  I suggest making this part ahead of time.


Add a little ice to wine glass and combine:

2 Tbsp. strawberry
1/3 C wine
1/2 C mineral water



This drink is perfect for summer.  It screams it. I was pretty damn liberal with the Cointreau.

Total Time: 10 minutes
Music:  T-Rex

The $4,600 Taco

When I first went to College one credit hour cost $33.  It would be unfair to not give a little perspective so I should add that minimum wage was only $4.25.  Now the lowly burger-flipping or pizza-oven burnt victim's minimum wage is $8.00 and one credit hour costs $500.00.  I punched these numbers into my super computer and, after refining it for the escalating price of home mortgages and the Middle East Spring, my computer spit out the following calculation:  That's crazy, man.

Anyway, the University season is upon us.  Time to get out the pens and paper.

I was never a fan of fish tacos.  I think it exposed some murky bigotism on my part, in that, when ever I pictured a fish taco I saw fish heads complete with jelly eyes and wiry whiskers.  Well, I'm over it now and let my say this is a guaranteed recipe.  Enjoy.

What You Need:

1 lb. Yellowfin tuna fillet (about 3/4" thick)
8  Tortillas (6")
1 Avocado, peeled and sliced into quarters.
1/2 C Red Onion, sliced.
1/4 Cilantro leaves, chopped.
Jalapeno slices
Lime juice
Cooking Spray

Seasoning:
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp. sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 + 1/8 tsp. chili powder

Yellowfin Tuna Tacos

photos by DMG

Combine seasoning in bowl and sprinkle evenly over tuna.
Heat a pan over high heat and add cooking spray.
Cook fish, 2-4 minutes each side.

*You may need to slice tuna if fillet is too thick.
Warm tortillas.
Slice fish into chunks and divide amongst tortillas.
Top with 2 Tbsp. Avocado, 1 Tbsp Onion, Cilantro, Jalapeno slices and sprinkle with Lime juice.


Total Time:  25 minutes
Netflix: Trublood
Drink: Aqua, con libre

Tiger Penis

First, I'd like to say "Hola! Como esta Usted?" to my viewer from Spain.  Allow me to use the rare vosotros--"Vosotros cocinais?"

This is another guaranteed recipe.  It is for everyone who who has had a bad relationship with beets.  I've cooked this for many a hater and it has always won them over with is dark sangrian hue and firm texture.  Trust me on this one-- it is awesome.

A little history on the beet.  It is older than Jesus and its juice has been considered an aphrodisiac.  Which, per a dinner conversation with a lovely guest last night, I would prefer over tiger penis and oysters every day of the week.


What you Need:

Four bulbs, Beets with leaves
1/2 lb. Green beans, *must be fresh
3 1/2 oz Goats Cheese

Dressing:

2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1 clove Garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. Capers, chopped
1 Tbsp. red wine vinegar
1/2 tsp. salt and pepper

* You're probably noticing the turkey, cheddar and dough.  Ignore it--it's for another day.




Fresh Beetroot and Goat's Cheese Salad

To prepare Beets:
Boil water in a large pan.
Trim off leaves and wash.
Scrub and remove outer skin from beets
until clean.
Simmer bulbs, covered, for 30 minutes.
(tender when pierced with a fork)


Meanwhile . . .

Bring another saucepan of water to a boil.
Make a ice-water bath in a large bowl or sink.
Boil Beans 3 minutes, then toss into ice-bath.
Drain well.
Then boil leaves 3-5 minutes and repeat bath.

To make dressing:
Put all ingredients in screw top jar and shake.

To serve, divide ingredients amongst plates or in a bowl and crumble goat cheese over top.

*  Don't you dare use frozen beans.      Rico! Rico!

Total time: 45 minutes
Music:  Iron and wine with Calexico
Drink:  Wine, red

You say Tomato, I say Shut the Hell Up

The ruby siege continues.   The plant that bears adult fruit signals the begin and end of warm days.  This year is three-quarters gone and what have we done, but eat tomatoes until our tongues are sore?

I don't know if you ever tried to can tomatoes before.  Without the proper tools, the process involves boiling water, burnt fingers; the kind of anger summoned when coffee is too hot.  I don't can anymore so I look for recipes which will make a dent in my growing stores of The prettiest and most salacious daughter of the nightshade family.  Salsa is actually very easy to make and I had all the ingredients all ready.  We made a meal of it by throwing it on some chips, cheese and seasoned meat.

What you Need:

4 C tomatoes, chopped
6 banana peppers, chopped
(about 1/2 inch pieces)
1-3 Jalapeno, chopped
1 cup onion, chopped
1 green and 1 red pepper, chopped
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 C tomato sauce
1/2 C Cilantro
1 tsp. red wine vinegar
1/4 C lime juice, no more

Seasonings:
1/4 tsp. paprika
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cumin                * I've added Jalapenos because it came out too sweet for my tastes.
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

Garden Salsa

photos by DMG

Heat Olive Oil in large pan.
Saute Onions, garlic, peppers
for two minutes.
Add tomatoes, including juices
running off cutting board.
Simmer 15 minutes, uncovered.

Meanwhile . . .

Mix tomato sauce, cumin, paprika
vinegar salt and Cayenne in bowl.

Then . . .

Add to pan, simmer 10 minutes.

       Remove from heat and add lime juice, cilantro, cool.
       *Cooling in a container helps bring out the flavor.


      Total time: 30 minutes
      Book:  Christine Schutt
      Drink:  Aqua, with lime

Lydia Lunchless

There is a story here.  We decided to forgo cable for Netflixs and the 20 odd channels you can get for free on basic television.  One day, while watching PBS we came across a balding Italian Chef named Lydia.  Apparently this is the same Lydia of my former hometown Lydia's Kansas City Italian restaurant.   She was making delicious meals with ridiculous amounts of wine.  The thing is-- she didn't give out any of the measurements of anything.

Here's what I think happened.  First, Lydia is actually very small so the proportions looked very big in relation to her tiny frame.  Second, the meal calls for a flat-iron steak; which, not going to an actual butcher, I could only find in a pound and a half.  Third, I think the pan she used was deeper and less wide than my dutch oven, so I ended up with about two gallons of sauce to cover a shrinking pound of meat.  None the less, this recipe rocks.

photos by DMG

What you Need:

2-3 lb. Flat Iron Steak
Olive Oil
3 Garlic gloves, crushed
1 1/2 Onions, chopped
1/8 C Rosemary and Sage, chopped
Flour

Sauce:
2 C Red Wine, Dry
3 C Chicken stock
1/2 C Pine nuts
2 C Tomatoes, crushed

* Flat Iron is the shoulder of a cow



Italian Flat Iron Steak and Red Wine Sauce

Put liberal amount of Olive oil in deep pan
over medium-high heat.

Add Garlic, Onion, Rosemary and Sage
Cook for 3 minutes.

Flour both sides of Steak.

Push onion mixture to one side and brown
steak on both sides (see picture).

 Once browned; thus sealing in juices, add Wine and      Stock.
 Cook 30 minutes.

  Remove liquid into large bowl and puree pine nuts into         sauce in batches.




Return puree to pan with meat and add 2 cups crushed tomatoes  Simmer, covered for 2-3 hours.


*This really is a delectable meal.  We'll probably use the left over sauce to cook up some carrots and potatoes.

Total Time: 3 hours
Music: Soul Coughing
Drink:  Petite Sirah